


Rainfall

by SaltyYagi



Category: Dream SMP- fandom, Sleepy Bois Inc, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: 3+1, Angst, Family Dynamics, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Parent Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), References to Depression, Techno is a Pluviophile?, Techno sits in the rain to let him feel his emotions, its a sad a lot but don’t worry, not sexual, sleepy bois inc - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:35:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,486
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28405626
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SaltyYagi/pseuds/SaltyYagi
Summary: If he was washed away into the ground right now, not a trace left of him as the morning would come, Techno wouldn’t complain.But of course that wouldn’t happen, so for now the temporary numbness of his skin and the chill of his bones were enough to soothe the ache of life.Or3 times Techno sits in the rain alone, and 1 time he didn’t have to be alone.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 11
Kudos: 225





	Rainfall

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s to some angsty Techno *clinks glass*
> 
> I almost gave up writing this but I kept goin hope y’all enjoy this.

1.

The first time Techno had the urge to sit in the rain he was very young, the idea of sitting out in it alone as the raindrops beat down on his skin was almost calling to him.

The first time Techno listened he was seventeen, and it was a mild February night.

As the teen laid in bed he couldn’t seem find it in him to fall asleep, he had tossed and turned for a couple of hours now and debated just not sleeping at all and just read one of his novels instead.

Going through unread novels he had in his head he noticed the light sound of beginning rain, softly tapping against his window.

And there it was again, the calling, the _pull_ to just sit out in it, to let it soak him to the bone, let his thoughts wash away with the rain as they seeped into the ground to be forgotten.

The pink haired teen didn’t let himself think as his body started to move, grabbing his glasses off his night stand and letting his bare feet touch the cold wooden floor beside his bed as he stood.

Opening the door to the hallway his mind finally caught up on what he was doing, he hesitated, for just a moment, several thoughts running through his mind. 

_What if the others hear me? I could get sick from the cold. This is a bad idea, turn around,_ **_turn around_ ** _._

His anxiety almost had him walking back to bed but the pull of the rain, now beating down heavier against the window, was louder, it’s calling making his worries die out like a fire doused in water.

His bare feet crept down the dark hallway, first passing Wilbur’s room next to his and then Tommy’s across from Wilbur.

Techno took a longer step over a particular floorboard he knew creaked like hell, when stepped on and reached the stairs.

His heart beat faster as he descended the stairs, why was he so nervous anyways? Fear of his family finding out? Or was it anticipation and excitement for finally listening to the rain outside?

Wiping his lightly sweaty hands on his t-shirt and shorts, the teen pulled his long hair behind his ears as he reached the bottom of the stairs standing still for a moment.

Phil’s bedroom was luckily in the opposite direction of the door to the backyard, so the father hearing it open would probably not happen.

As Techno moved closer and closer to the glass sliding door he could hear the rain had picked up a little more, it was a heavy rainfall since there was no wind to disrupt the droplets falling and Techno felt his mouth curl into a small smile.

He clicked the lock open and opened the sliding door, the beating sound of the rain became louder for a moment, Techno hurried to step out and pull the door closed again after him.

Above the teen was a little half roof, protecting him from the falling rain.

Techno felt goosebumps start to rise on his skin from the nightly February weather, his feet moving closer and closer to the free falling rain.

As he stood under the edge of the roof, Techno let his right hand reach forward into the veil of water, his hand lying palm up felt cold and the beating down of rain numbed his skin, Techno smiled wider than before.

The way his hand disrupted the hard fall of the rain seemed to mesmerize the pink haired teen, the water still falling after it had hit his skin, but it was different now and Techno didn’t know, despite his wide vocabulary, how to describe the feeling that bloomed in his chest.

Techno took a deep breath as he let his body follow his hand out under the sky, the feeling was instant.

The thick rainfall made Techno feel heavier as it beat down against his back, shoulders and head, the goosebumps came back from the cold water as it soaked his skin and Techno… Techno felt amazing, despite the heaviness of his body he felt lighter as well, it was a feeling he wasn't sure he had ever experienced before.

He brought his hands to his face and felt his glasses, Techno didn’t like the way they disrupted the fall of water on his face so he slipped them into the pocket of his shorts.

Red eyes shut as he turned his face to the dark sky, numbness spreading over his face and body as if the droplets beat his nerves out of his body.

It almost felt too much for Techno for a moment, the freedom he felt he couldn’t describe, the way his body felt heavy and light at the same time, the way his head felt full of water as it drowned his normally noisy head.

The teen didn’t feel ashamed as he cried, hot tears mixing with the cold rain sliding off his face to be forgotten.

He let his cold arms wrap around himself as he breathed, why did it suddenly feel so easy to breathe.

—————

2.

It was around a month since Techno had stood in the rain that lonely night, he had gotten the sniffles for a few days but had otherwise felt fine.

His family had not found out about his little night escape.

Now a month later Techno was sitting at the dining table, binders, papers and his laptop filling the space in front of him as he studied for a test that was coming and an essay he had to turn in the next day.

His brothers and father were not home, Phil had told Techno they were going to visit Phil’s parents and would be home before dinner, the teen had decided to stay home as he had too much to do.

So here he sat, head muddled as he read the same sentence again and again not absorbing any info, he removed his glasses with one hand and pinched his nose for a moment before letting it slip down to his septum piercing fiddling with it for a moment.

He felt so fucking stupid, he knew how to do this, so why was it so hard? English was his best subject, words and creative writings came to him so easily so why could he not for the life of him find the start of the thread to begin.

His hair had become a mess having fiddled with it all days due to stress, several sections had fallen out of the messy bun he had made that morning, as he laid his head on his arms perched on the table he studied the light pink hairs pooling over the table beside him.

He really needed to re-dye it soon, he had noticed his roots were coming back again a few days ago.

Techno gripped his hair again as he clenched his eyes shut.

_Why am I even thinking about that, it’s not important! Focus on the words! Come on you idiot, it’s easy, IT'S EASY!_

Techno felt the sting behind his eyes, threatening tears wanting to fall but he couldn’t, he wanted to cry, the frustration was too much.

But he couldn’t.

The beginning soft patter of rain started to invade the frustrated teen’s mind, he turned his face to the glass sliding door he had used to escape a month ago.

And sure enough there it was, the beginning droplets of rain. Techno checked his phone for the weather forecast, it looked like it would rain for an hour or two this afternoon, quite heavily.

Techno felt the familiar pull and rare calmness wash over him at the words.

The normally loud house was quiet now, no one to interrupt him, no one to judge him.

It gave Techno the courage to stand, he took out the hairband holding up his hair letting the long pink strands fall down past his shoulders.

Techno moved the few steps he had to the glass door and examined the rain, it was heavier than the previous pitter patter from before, but not like the heavy rainfall that night in February.

Techno removed his socks and let them fall to the floor, as well as folding up his glasses laying them on the dresser by the door.

The sound of the down beating rain on the half roof above him as he opened the door was loud, it was almost drowning out the fast beating of his own heart.

Techno removed the black hoodie he was wearing, throwing it on the table they used to eat outside in the summer.

Only wearing his red tank-top and black jeans the teen stepped out in the rain.

The cold water spread goosebumps along his skin, his hair became heavier with the weight of the water and his jeans clung to his legs, Techno felt at peace.

He lowered himself to the wet grass and sat cross legged, the teen let his arms rest on his legs as he bent slightly over, letting the rain beat down along his back.

The clean air mixed with a slight earthly smell entered Techno’s nostrils and it spread a stronger calm throughout his body.

He could feel the way his shoulders that had been tense all day sag and finally relax, the rain beating down on his muscles like a massage, releasing the stress he had pushed down into a dark corner of himself.

The steady beating on his back made him feel that numbness he needed, it cleared him and again he felt the stinging behind his eyes.

This time it wasn't hard to let go, the tears began to flow and he cried, he cried harder than he had last time. 

The frustrations of not being good enough or smart enough, flowed out of him and he began to sob loudly into the cold uncaring rain.

Techno wasn't sure how long he had sat in the rain, but he was sure he had been here more than an hour.

He hadn’t found it in himself to open his eyes until he noticed the rain becoming lighter and lighter.

The soaked boy turned his blurry eyes to the sky as it slowly changed from grey to a lighter blue, soft clouds passing by.

Techno rubbed his tired eyes with his cold hands, his family would probably be home soon, the moment of clarity and freedom was broken.

As he walked to the sliding door, dry sweater in hand, he rubbed the underside of his feet on his pants legs to get the dirt off before stepping in.

Grabbing his glasses and giving a short huff at the unfinished papers on the table Techno tiptoed upstairs to take a bath and change.

A couple of minutes later the front door swung open.

“Holy shit it was pissing down, I was worried we were gonna be being swept away!” Tommy exclaimed as he threw his shoes to the side upon stepping into the house.

Wilbur sat his shoes carefully by Tommy’s followed by a tired sigh “The car is parked literally not more than two meters from the front door, calm down child.”

A soft laugh came from Phil as he entered last setting his shoes to the side as well “Despite his height, Tommy is so light even two meters and a semi heavy rain probably _could_ wash him away.” Tommy turned to his father, eyeing him up since he pretty much matched his height at this point “Hey! Who’s side are you on here?!”

The father just gave his youngest son a soft smile as he stepped past him to the dining table.

It was littered with papers and Techno’s laptop that had gone into sleep mode, Phil felt for his son, he was really working himself too hard.

Wilbur and Tommy both walked upstairs as their father heard them argue about something new, it was really never quiet when they were together.

Phil took a look to the door to the backyard now though, noticing a pair of black socks crumpled up by the entrance, as well as a little puddle of water and a few wet footprints leading away from it.

 _Well that’s certainly odd._ Phil suddenly got a weird feeling, call it fatherly instinct, he had to check it out.

He hadn’t seen Techno yet.

Walking upstairs he heard the shower running in the bathroom, he had already forced Wilbur and Tommy into baths that morning before they left so it had to be his oldest.

Knocking on the door a few times he called out “Techno? Are you alright?” The water on the other side stopped for a moment.

“Yeah dad I’m alright, just had to take a break.” The familiar monotone voice settled the anxious father, but it still felt odd.

“Techno,” he paused for a moment looking at his other kids' closed doors for a moment “what is up with the water puddle downstairs?”

There was no response for a moment until suddenly the door unlocked and a wet face with pink clinging hair popped out.

Phil looked over his son’s face, an expression Phil couldn’t quite place occupied it.

“I was outside taking some fresh air when it started to rain so I got a bit wet, sorry.” Phil gave his son another look, he had a feeling it wasn't the whole story but let Techno be for now, he knew his son had a lot on his plate.

“Alright mate, just wondering.” He gave him a smile, Techno gave a short nod to his dad before closing the door again, the water starting up again.

Phil let one of his hands rest on the door for a moment before turning around to go downstairs, it was dinner time soon anyways.

—————

3.

It had been a two days since Techno and Wilbur’s eighteenth birthday, it had been a good day, Phil’s parents had come for dinner with presents for the twins but the amount of social battery Techno had used up that day had been a bit much, luckily the other birthday boy had saved him, taking some the attention and letting Techno take a breather.

Despite it having been two days Techno still felt the exhaust in his body.

His head felt heavy and he didn’t want to leave his bed, he had exams to prepare for though so his battery stayed low, even eight hours of sleep did nothing.

The thoughts in the teen’s head felt jumbled and he couldn’t find a start, he had school, exams, college preparations, family and even more and it was too much.

He knew he could share his frustrations with Phil. The man had told Techno before not to take too much upon himself as he had given his son a sad smile.

It didn’t feel right for Techno though, Phil had enough on his plate, working to put food on the table and keeping three teenage boys happy and healthy was a lot.

So Techno had accustomed himself to keeping his worries on the inside, telling Phil, Wilbur and Tommy he was fine even when the stress and his own expectations for himself was breaking his spirit like a boulder upon his shoulders.

Now though, he was lying awake, it was around midnight on a Saturday.

It had been annoyingly sunny all day, despite his phone promising rain today.

Scratching his chin Techno considered taking a cold shower, it was not as therapeutic as he found the rain but it was something.

A sigh left him as he swung his legs from his bed gathering up a towel from his closet, as well as a clean shirt and some basketball shorts.

He put his hand on his doorknob and- wait… Techno strained his ears.

Familiar light tapping against his window, he turned around to look out to the backyard.

Sure enough, the black sky above had begun to graze his presence with rain.

The lump in his throat he had felt ever since exams had begun, began to lighten a little as the sound of the soft pitter-patter against his window began to fill his quiet room.

It mixed with the soft guitar noises coming from Wilbur’s room beside his own.

With some new found bravely Techno crept into the bathroom with his stuff, he would have to take a real shower after his rainshower anyways.

Like he had the first time Techno went down the hall on silent feet and descended the stairs, once again finding himself in front of the glass door.

It was almost like he was waiting for a therapy appointment, Techno snorted at the idea.

Placing his glasses on the dresser again Techno slipped outside.

The dark welcomed him with soft hellos tapping against the roof above and comfort filled his lungs as he breathed in the fresh air the rain created.

Techno didn’t hesitate to step into the rain, it felt different today, the rain felt lighter and more like a thick drizzle.

It felt like the water was coming from himself the way it coated his fast chilling skin. Had Techno was more of a dramatic person he might had compared it to his repressed toxins leaking out.

He had been in school-mode for so long, as well as his social battery being low that now that he finally felt more relaxed he couldn’t help to feel tired as well.

Techno eyed the soppy, grassy ground underneath his feet through his blurry eyes, was he really weird enough to call it inviting?

Lowering himself to the ground the pink haired teen felt the mush of the earth soak into his back and hair.

He let his arms fan out on the ground beside him as the rain showered down upon his front.

As he laid there and let himself soak in the cold, Techno began to think, and by now he knew thinking in the rain would only end with him emotional.

But for once he felt okay with being emotional, there was no one here except him and the falling rain. The drops would not care nor speak about his tears that mixed with them, so he let them see him, in all his miserable glory.

He felt like a burden, he had felt for years but as he had gotten older and more self aware of his own mental state it had hurt more.

The teen knew he could do better, he _had_ to do better, he was the oldest so he needed to act like it.

Techno remembered a conversation he previously had with Wilbur a few months ago, his twin had confessed that he might be depressed, Techno had urged him to talk with Phil about it. He knew Phil would not judge Wilbur.

But in turn that had made Techno more sure that he didn’t need to share his own mental struggles with any of his family.

They already had so much to deal with.

Techno brought his cold hands to his face as he sobbed harder, his chest hurt and his eyes stung but he couldn’t find it in himself to stop.

_Why was it all so painful?_

He knew his family was disappointed in him, they had to be, but they were too nice to say anything.

His father and brothers were highly social and loud, especially Tommy, but for some reason that gene wasn't passed down to Techno.

He was straightforward and borderline rude in his communication. He was monotone as hell and flaked out on family outings in favor of staying home to read or study.

Tommy had so often asked him to hang out but Techno wasn't sure how to handle the kid. He was wild and unpredictable and it frustrated Techno he didn’t know how to communicate with a kid he had known almost his whole life.

Where did he mess up?

When did _he_ get so messed up?

Was he just born wrong?

Techno moved to a sitting position as the hot tears were quickly cooled by the rain.

It felt hard to breathe. But maybe that was what he deserved.

If he was washed away into the ground right now, not a trace left of him as the morning would come, Techno wouldn’t complain.

But of course that wouldn’t happen, so for now the temporary numbness of his skin and the chill of his bones were enough to soothe the ache of life.

—————

+1.

As it had begun to rain Techno had once again found himself sat on the soppy ground of the backyard.

It wasn't a heavy rain tonight either, though it was heavier than the drizzle from last time.

Techno turned his face to the darkening sky above with closed eyes, the rain hitting and sliding off his face as the numb feeling began to set in.

He didn’t cry yet, but he knew, after the week he had just had, that it would come soon.

He welcomed the feeling.

Before he could let his thoughts run though, the rain seemed to stop.

The comfortable water beating at his face and shoulders seized, his body felt uncomfortably cold without the feeling of the continuous water flow.

_What is going on?_

The teen opened his eyes and saw green?

A light green umbrella was held above him preventing the rain from hitting him, instead it fell around him like a veil.

Techno let his eyes fall to the person holding the umbrella he was steadily hating more and more.

His eyes were blurry without his glasses, but he recognized the blond color of the hair, Phil.

The teen hanged his head “Hey dad, what are you doing?” He wasn't sure what to say, he thought he would freak out more to his father finding out about his rain runs but he felt strangely calm.

He heard his dad puff out a huff “Preventing you from getting a cold, what the hell are you doing out here Techno?” He sounded frustrated, it made sense, his oldest son was soaking in the rain in the middle of the night like some crazy person.

Anyone would be frustrated waking up and having to deal with that.

A soft laugh escaped the teen “No need to worry Phil, I’ve done this enough times to know I don’t really get sick from it.” Phil eyed his son, so this was not the first time.

The father crouched down to his son, still holding the umbrella above them both “Techno please come back inside, this is not exactly normal, if you need to talk I’ll listen, I’ll listen the whole night if you need me to, “ He felt sad seeing his son out here in the cold, what the hell was going on?

“Phil please,” Techno’s voice sounded strained, “you need to let me feel this.”

As the words left his child's mouth his heart broke, how long had this been going on.

“Techno please come inside, we can ju-“ 

“No,” Techno interrupted, his voice still weaker than his normally steady voice.

“I have to feel this, you need to let me feel this.”

Techno brought his cold hand to his dad’s chest lightly pushing him away. Phil stood up and walked a step away from his son as not to fall.

The rain began once again to soak the teen and Techno’s shoulders sagged a bit, a cold shaky breath escaping his lips.

The father felt at a loss for words, he looked to the house and back at his child.

He wasn't going to leave him, so if Techno wouldn’t come with him, he would join him.

Mushy sounds of the wet earth being stepped on filled Techno’s numbing head, had Phil finally left him?

He looked to the side to find his father surprisingly sitting down beside him, though at an angle so that he was looking towards Techno.

He couldn’t see his facial features, but based on his hesitant body language he was not happy sitting on the wet ground in his pajamas.

“I’m not leaving you Techno, I’ll stay here with you for as long as you’ll let me,” Phil moved his umbrella to his other hand and gently grabbed one of Techno’s hands in his unoccupied one “so if you need to feel this, I’ll let you.”

Techno felt confused.

Phil wasn't gonna leave him? Tell him to suck it up since he was the oldest? Not even go inside and simply wait for techno to finish his weird ritual?

A soft thumb gently caressed the top of the teen’s hand, patience and love poured into the gentle movement.

He couldn’t see Phil, but he could feel it.

He could feel Phil, he wasn't angry, he wasn't annoyed, maybe a bit confused but anyone would be seeing this.

“I’m not sure why you do this Techno, I do want to talk about it later but,” he hesitated, “if you need this I’ll let you, I love you.”

And there it was, those words.

He had heard it plenty of times, his father didn’t shy away from using them but for some reason it felt different this time.

It felt real.

It felt so real it broke him.

All the other times he had cried from frustration, cried from every negative feeling that had seared itself into him over the years but this time, it was a different feeling.

Techno wasn't sure how to describe it but it made the tears fall faster and heavier than any time before.

His chest heaved and hurt from the way his breath barely came in before a new sob made him breathe out again and his eyes stung, it was almost as if they would pop out of his head.

He squeezed his father’s hand harder, afraid he might disappear with the rain into the ground if he didn’t hold on tight enough.

It was painful, it was freeing, it was confusing.

“Techno, remember to breathe.” He heard his fathers gentle voice through the rain, he slowly followed a breathing patterns Phil softly repeated to him until his breath came under control.

“Do you really love me?” He muttered despite his throat hurting.

“I do.” Phil didn’t hesitate.

“Are you sure?” He squeezed his fathers hand a little again.

Phil let a small smile graze his lips.

“I’ve always been sure of this.” He squeezed him back. 

Thirty minutes had probably passed before the rain had begun to fizzle out and stop.

Techno let out a heavy breath and brought his shaking hands to his hair to wring out some water.

He opened his eyes and looked to his father, before he could speak, Phil held out something to him, ah, his glasses.

“You ready to go back?” He asked his son.

Techno let a rare smile graze his lips, “Yeah, I think I am.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!!!
> 
> If there are any grammatical errors I apologize.
> 
> Pls comment any thought you have ^_^


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